A complicating factor is that all of the disputing parties may be right, on some level. The deceased may have had many conversations with different members of the ohana over the course of many years. It is easy to see how one family member could remember instructions given on one date that conflict with instructions given to another family member on another date. If both family members can come together through the process of ho`oponono, or making things right through talking out differences, a consensus may be reached that is healing and positive for all involved
 Ho`oponopono is a delicate process, and a successful conclusion may depend on the leadership of an experienced individual who can help family members clearly express their views and then validate those views so that all involved can both understand and respect the feelings and positions being communicated. Although ho`oponopono may be employed after the fact in resolving disputes, it can also be used while the senior family member is still alive to head off disputes and instill unity in the family, who will hopefully have a clear memory of what was communicated during the ho`oponopono process.

Finally, the concept of malama, or caring for and perpetuating one’s legacy, infuses and motivates Hawaiian style estate planning. This extends from caring for one’s family to caring for one’s community through charitable giving.Remembering our root values helps to ensure that we are leaving a legacy of aloha.

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